letters to monica lee

2010-07-08T20:16:00.000-07:00

For irrational reasons, I never wanted (or want) three children. However, these cute quilt tents make me hope people I know have three kids so that they can duplicate this set-up and I can visit. :)

See where this picture initially came from here.

Art I desperately want.

2010-06-03T10:30:00.000-07:00

There is a very popular stationary-ist in my blog world, whose name is Anna Bond. She creates all kinds of lovely paper products. I just fell in love with this. If I had a permanent address to ship things to, I would purchase it in a second.

2010-05-24T10:01:00.000-07:00

How hungry am I?

I am very rediculously hungry.

Yet, I have already eaten lunch twice in the past hour.

....

2010-04-20T20:27:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I will be rush packing before my semi-move back to Ottawa on Thursday. Yesterday and today I have talked to a lot of adults who have made my stay here in London awesome; supervisors at work, who despite their age add smile-y faces to everything that is inanimate, excitable sunday school teachers and program directors who have drastically different views on kid’s learning styles, british women who provide fantastic critical feedback and love the use of pauses at anytime during conversations and presentations. I have been incredibly blessed in my time here, and I am very sad to leave.

So sad, in fact, that today I cried a little while walking to the mailbox. At that point two mormon missionaries asked me if I was okay. I said yes, and assured them that I had mormon friends in order to make the short cross-walk light, rather than have a lengthy discussion.

p.s. One of the mormon missionaries (they were boys) looked uber uncomfortable.

p.s.s. I will also be very sad to leave my fantastic apartment. Honestly, it is the greatest. My freezer has a closet. And my carpet reminds me of Aslan. or a well-loved, slightly disgusting stuffed animal.

My website

2010-04-18T14:51:00.000-07:00

I had to make a website for a course.

My parents were looking at it in front of me, and were clicking on a lot of things that I didn't make as links. That was helpful to notice where I will lose marks.

Feel free to look at it if you wish.

On hand I can only think of one recipe that I view as someone else's that I included. While they have a published recipe, I could never find it online. I attempted to make my own version. It was not nearly as good. I did not include this fun fact on the actual web page.

2010-04-01T10:25:00.001-07:00

I think this would be an excellent gift to give.

nice haircut

2010-03-27T20:39:00.000-07:00

I just learned of a new? (new to me) band called the Morning Benders. They are from California, and remind me of the Shins. I should confess that I haven't listened to the Shins in months, so really the bands may sound nothing alike. And truly, as you are busy being a lawyer, I have no expectation for you, Ms.Lee, or any other peruser of these letters to actually listen to their music. I'm not even going to post a video. Though that might be more related to the fact that my favourite video song of theirs could be seen by some as scandalous.

A fine first paragraph...

2010-03-24T17:56:00.001-07:00

You would be forgiven for thinking Alex Morningside was a boy. In fact, she would be the first to laugh at this, because, for one thing, she wasn't, and for another, she didn't mind people thinking otherwise. This was because she had an Excellent Sense of Humor. It wasn't that she wanted to be a boy or anything; it was simply that she didn't see much difference in being treated either as a girl or a boy. Because, after all, everyone is just people.

From Alex and the ironic gentleman. Authored by Adrienne Kress. Brought to you from my quilt fort. Because it has already been a long week, despite being only three days old.

p.s. Check out all the commas in sentence two, and the capitalization in sentence three. LOVE.

2010-03-16T07:53:00.001-07:00

I have been plagarized. Kind of.

2010-03-11T20:05:00.000-08:00

I take it back. I re-watched it and the girl back-up dancers also get to dance with boys. sometimes.

2010-03-11T19:59:00.001-08:00

I like this music video. I think it is funny that she has performed most of this dance in a prior video. And I like that she is the only girl who has males who dance her around.

2010-03-05T14:31:00.000-08:00

p.s. I love two-sided printing.

2010-03-05T10:28:00.000-08:00

Anxiety (like shame) is an ugly feeling.
Even more than that, it is a sin.

So instead, I will think of cute things...like this puppy.

It's waving at me!

2010-02-24T10:01:00.000-08:00

TINFOIL!

I am amazed by this product. It is so firm, yet flexible. Sad news is that you shouldn't microwave it.

It makes excellent Christmas balls too. Did you ever make them for your tree when you were a youngster?

Also. I want to brag? about my young adults group, particularly the girls. I am so blessed by my church here in London and the support that the young adult group provides. I love that these girls are really interested in theology, love prayer and provide fantastic fun and interesting conversation topics. Yay church.

2010-02-21T11:30:00.001-08:00

- Today is a fantastically nice day. I wore shoes.

- Kids are funny. A girl in my Sunday school class told me she was going to follow me around wherever I went. I explained that I was about to stand still. She attempted to stand still as well but quickly became distracted.

- A man from International Justice Mission came and spoke at my church today (the Canadian headquarters are located here in London). His talk paired with exceptionally good worship kinda felt like a mini-Winter Conference, minus Greg Hinzelman and a lack of sleep.

- I like sparkly nail polish.

and I want to go to New York!

2010-02-06T08:47:00.000-08:00

Maybe this is old news

(my brother just showed it to me after having seen it somewhere).

But in case it is not,

this is very funny.

http://www.biggerbetterbeards.org/

p.s. Adam don't ever grow/buy a beard. Despite how charming? this website is. Thanks.

2010-02-02T08:12:00.000-08:00

Illustrator/author crush: Peter Mccarty

How cute is this!

And the story line is super.

It involves the girl bunny running away and eventually stealing the boy's blueberry muffin. And he thinks the WORLD of her.

Animal cartoon children romance is so great.

2010-01-28T15:01:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to help with Grades 3,4,5 Sunday School this week. My title is Miss Meredith. I am pretty psyched.

2010-01-16T18:29:00.000-08:00

I remember in grade 5 (or maybe it was 7?) in gym class, volleyball teams were being picked. I was not looking forward to it at all, as we were being chosen through team captains and 1 was a boy and 1 was a girl and the girl wasn’t my friend. And I wasn’t good at volleyball. I was certain I was going to be last.
But to my surprise I was picked first on the boy’s team! (To be clear, the first pick had to be an individual of the opposite gender). I was genuinely pleased (Initially I thought ecstatic, but again this was for playing volley ball, the world’s worst sport).
Today I got an email from a classmate asking if I would like to be part of their group project for a course we have together this term. It is like I am reliving grade 5 or 7 all over again. Yay.

2009-12-29T18:40:00.000-08:00

If I ever have a family, we are never ever ever ever going on a road trip. Ever.
(this is inspired from watching Little Miss Sunshine).

Paper Things

2009-12-15T07:48:00.000-08:00

I kinda can't believe these things are sold. But at the same time, it is pretty cool that they are.

2009-12-01T12:29:00.000-08:00

Scattered thoughts:

-I wish my due date for essay X had not been postponed. There is no reason for one
assignment to take so long, having done satisfactory research.

- I feel a large amount of shame towards my poor grammar skills. Shame is an awful sensation. I think in the future I will try to enrol in a grammar class with really annoying exercises and worksheets, as having read grammar books this semester hasn’t really improved my comma usage. Also, my previously accurate usages of “to” vs “too” have been corrupted in the past month.

-I really enjoy compiling budgets. Using Excel reminds me of cleaning, as when formulas are inputted correctly into Excel, it is apparent. This sense of completion produces a large feeling of satisfaction.

-I really like the Bible. I should read it more. I have noticed recently the amount a TV show sticks with me. If I watch House at night, the next day I will continually think of its plot, the characters, etc. Because of this “stick-i-ness” I think if I read the Bible more, I would be a much more spiritual person. I should try this experiment. (Replace TV watching with bible reading/mediation and examine thought process output. Hypothesis: This lifestyle change would result in me becoming much nicer to Ben and Adam).

2009-11-19T18:18:00.000-08:00

I really wish I was friendlier or had more social intuition. Recently I have been very uncertain about whether I should say hi to classmates when I see them in the hall, computer lab, etc. At the start of the semester, I basically would say hi to anyone I had previously had a one minute conversation with. But now time has passed and I haven’t talked to them in two months and we once again are strangers. There are two classmates who live in the same area as me, but I have never talked too. Often we see each other in the neighborhood and we mutually pretend we don’t know each other. Today however I broke this boundary when I found a mitten that I had lost several hours earlier. In my happiness and my desire to not appear to be an individual who randomly picks wet dirty things off the ground, I told my neighborhood classmate, “Oh! I found my lost mitten.” “That’s good” she responded as she scurried past. And we continued to not know each other.

2009-11-14T13:00:00.000-08:00

I am exceptionally hungry. But I shouldn't be. I suspect my stomach is playing tricks on me so that I will stop working on my essay and eat ice cream instead.
I will not be so easily fooled.

2009-11-08T09:38:00.001-08:00

But the wild things cried, “Oh please don’t go- We’ll eat you up-we love you so!” And Max said, “No!”

In the movie this line is altered to a singular, “I don't want you to go, I'll eat you up I love you so.”

While I think this line makes the movie worth seeing, most would disagree.

It isn’t happy, kids would be bored watching it (S.J. said when she went to see it, all the kids in the theatre were running around because they didn't like it), and Max really deserved to be told off by his mom when he returned home, which didn't happen.
Max’s home life seemed very realistic, but in that it was kinda sad and emotionally distressing. But overall the move was nice looking, Max’s wolf suit was magnificent and so was his crown.

2009-11-06T08:46:00.000-08:00

First it was facebook.

Then last week it was children's literature.

Last night I realized I have to get rid of youtube and marthastewart.

I waste so much time. I don't think I will block those two websites (partly because
I don't know how), but I definitely have to limit my time on them (as in, really try never to go on them). Last week I interviewed for a volunteer position at one of the university offices, partly because I need some updated experience/references, but also because I know with a fuller plate I will have to prioritize my schoolwork above the Mysterious Benedict Society novels.

Thankfully because no one really blogs very much, I can continue to look at blogs somewhat. Though potentially there will be a day where that must go as well.

ugh. I am rediculously bad with my time management.

2009-10-27T12:15:00.001-07:00

I think I love Justin Timberlake. Sigh.

2009-10-20T14:32:00.001-07:00

I like fall
and leaves
and dresses
and candy my mom buys half price and leaves at my apartment
and yellow shag rug, which is ugly but cheerful
and children's novels.
And gelato sandwiches. Soon I will try marsh mallow flavour.
and this song: Quelqu'un M'a Dit- Carla Bruni

2009-10-17T07:22:00.000-07:00

I desperately want to make an apple or peach pie, but I have no one to feed it to. My heart was saddened. I cried.

2009-10-06T16:58:00.000-07:00

I have eaten too many cookies. blagh.

And the London Public Library (as well as Western) has the worst (this is an exaggeration) library catalog interface...or maybe it is an online catalog system.

It will tell you that it has the book, but doesn't specify where it is. Once you go through a process to retrieve the call number, the library doesn't clearly indicate where the materials are.

So upsetting.

However, the London Public Library's Central Branch is quite breathtaking. It kind of reminded me of a shopping mall.

2009-09-29T12:18:00.001-07:00

I suck at balance.

I love to be busy with school work, but it always results in a lack of doing anything else- reading bible, participating in church, praying, being healthy, socializing, etc.

Currently I am in a program that commends itself on how much they stretch their students by the amount and pace of the coursework. For the next month, there is not a single week where I don’t have at least two class projects/reports/essays/group work due. While this is a period of slight glee, as it will distract me from having to really settle in a new city, finding a new church that I consider myself a regular attendee, and making friends that I want to hang out with, I am recognizing now, this is the point where I need to make decisions on how I will live. Will I be content with not picking up my Bible for the next thirty days? Choosing which church I go to based on the amount of homework I have due? Eating cookies all the time, as they offer immediate satisfaction? Allowing sins to go unaddressed, as I don’t feel as if I have enough time to take action to confront them? Or will I make a plan which will put God in his proper place in my life, and live it out?

Maybe I will think about this later...

2009-09-26T13:43:00.000-07:00

I am going to make blondies with peaches tonight. I am very excited.

2009-09-20T13:08:00.000-07:00

I would like to have a birthday party. With lemon poppy-seed cake, balloons and a picnic!

Alas. It is not my birthday. :(.

And when it is, it will be too cold for a picnic. : (.

2009-09-17T12:08:00.000-07:00

I miss being able to do homework from home. :(
BUT Tetley's Pomegranate Tea is AMAZING.

2009-08-18T07:53:00.001-07:00

I think if there was only one product I was allowed to use excessively, I might choose to have unlimited access to paper towels. They are really useful.

2009-08-07T13:55:00.000-07:00

A couple of years ago I heard so many resources concerning God's Will, I became self-certified as a MoDGW (Master of Discerning God's Will). Yet currently I am thinking that frustration should be considered a key component of that process. Maybe I need to be re-educated.

You have become my friend once again, so I will once again write...

2009-08-03T11:29:00.000-07:00

Dear Mons,

At Young Adults last week we discussed an element we most desired a movie to contain. I think you would enjoy this icebreaker.
Answers were:
-a furry creature
-kissing (even in single gender movies, through affectionate greetings)
-romance (even in single gender movies, it could refer to a past/long-lost/long-distance-letter-writing love)
-Jack Black
-dancing
-an element of wisdom
-an underdog
-emotion

P.S. I can’t wait to see Where the Wild Things Are. Not only does it contain furry/cute creatures, the trailer features Arcade Fire (a montreal band). Though…there is no Arcade Fire on the actual soundtrack . Something else that is neat, the original book was only ten sentences long (says Wikipedia). I think that is impressive. Oh. And the boy’s name is Max. I think that is the perfect name for a boy in a movie. Much better than Rafael or …Fredrick. (I just re-watched the trailer. Eeek. So cute!).

2009-04-10T15:40:00.001-07:00

I died...due to essays, but I have again returned. And I have read a book that I LOVED in the meanwhile.

This post is really long, so I am only posting the first half. .

Recently I have been reading a book called Worldliness: Resisting the Seduction of a Fallen World(Ed. C.J. Mahaney). Mark Dever praised this book for being “specific enough to be helpful, grace-filled enough to be really helpful.” It is laced with questions and thoughts concerning our heart on matters relating to how we engage in the world, whether it media, music, clothes or possessions in general. Rather than stating rules to be followed in the interactions of a Christian, the authors urge the use of discernment concerning our intentions.

There are two Appendixes relating to modesty. One of them I have found particularly challenging, despite not being pertinent to me at this time, called "Modesty Concerning Your Wedding Day." It starts off acknowledging couple’s desire to have their wedding bring glory to God. In turn three questions are raised about whether the bride’s dress actually brings glory to God (which are paraphrased below).

1) Does this dress reflect the fact that my wedding ceremony is a holy time of worship?
2) Can I picture wearing this dress around my pastor for an extended period of time while he has his Bible open?
3) Would I wear clothing that is this revealing to a normal church service?

After reading this I got excited. It made so much sense that modesty “rules” that apply to church should also be adhered to at weddings, as they are a worship service, a truly magnificent one at that.

2009-03-02T20:17:00.000-08:00

Laura is the smartest girl I know. She fixed the internet!!!!
The Mars Hill Church band, E-pop, is excellent.
I wish grammar was a concept children knew how to use innately. As then I would know.

2009-02-26T18:39:00.000-08:00

1 Corithians 13:11 is quoted at the beginning of J.T and T.I's music video, Dead and Gone. I think that is really funny.

2009-02-25T19:17:00.000-08:00

I have a lot of respect for good ballroom dancers. I am watching America's Ballroom Challenge and it is fantastic!

2009-02-23T17:08:00.000-08:00

I feel really blessed by my friends, in the appropriate amount of them, the diverse nature of their personalities and interaction types, and the quality of various friendships.
Mmmmmmmm friends.
and I love asian bluntness.

2009-02-22T18:30:00.000-08:00

The word longevity is fantastic.

2009-02-05T15:24:00.000-08:00

how does one (me/I) become less critical?

2009-01-20T17:48:00.000-08:00

-Cooking is such a waste. Whenever I make "real" food I don't want to eat it, even if it tastes good.

- I have been feeling that prayer in a way is kind of crippling. When I am not regularly praying, I don't feel content, and very unspirit filled. Yet when I start praying more reguarly, I am led to pray more and more. During the waiting times I become more desperate to see God move, which results in me still I still end up being uncontent until prayers are resolved.

-I have been reading The Wars by Timothy Findley. It is really good, though there were two and a half parts that are not Christian Kosher.

-I love seeing people lead Spiritual Conversations for the first time. I always become so proud of them.

2008-12-25T11:58:00.000-08:00

Ephesians 2:8,9

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

This is something I normally accept, partially due to my own laziness- it would be so much work trying to constantly be doing great things that would allow me to be accepted by God. Yet, I guess normally I believe I deserve grace, you know, just for being my sinful self.

Yesterday I looked at my marks for my classes. I saw that in one class I received an A. I was really excited as that meant I received an A+ on the paper, as before I only had a B+. In the grocery line I remembered that wasn't the right name of the course. I actually received an A for a class that I thought I failed the term paper, as I had written it in a day, it didn't really have a thesis, and hyperventilating caused me to stop writing a conclusion and it was worth half my grade. I prayed for days that something would happen to allow me to still do well, but eventually I had to stop, as worrying about it when I was unable to do anything was very depressing.
Yet God fixed the situation, and I received something I didn't deserve.
All of yesterday I wandered and wondered in awe of what happen. I didn't deserve to be blessed like that. Yet, I have received salvation by grace, and I never have been so amazed and confused and thankful all at the same time.
I am really thankful.

Also. I watched Prince Caspian yesterday. Having never read the Narnia series, I am freed to enjoy the movies for what they are. I liked it, I enjoyed the part where Aslan caused trees and water, and other nature products to fight. It was cool to remember what God can actually do.

Happy Christmas!

2008-12-23T11:51:00.000-08:00

My body lotion smells strongly of feet. or stale crackers. but it is tinted? (or is suppose to be). And I would feel bad throwing something full out. It seems wasteful.

2008-12-21T15:22:00.000-08:00

-Hanover is very cold. Soon my dad will no longer appreciate my greeting to him everytime I enter a room, "Our house is too cold. In Ottawa my house isn't cold." Seriously. It is freezing.
-The movie Penelope is marvelous. There were many things in it that I would not have guessed, and nothing too bad happens to anyone. It was very pretty looking, with interesting characters as well. And beer was drank with a straw! And she had a swing in her room!! And Catherine O'Hara was in it, playing once again a role as a self-enthralled mother. She does it sooooo well!!!
Also, I plan on naming my first daughter after Penelope. If I never have daughters, but do have a son, that unlucky kid is going to have Penny as his nickname. He will hate me.
-I have read Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret. I think the spiritual secret part is unnecessary. His life was interesting enough to be worth reading about. Learning about the growth of China Inland Mission is really cool.
-I also read the book, Desperaux. It is about a tiny mouse, with large ears, sentenced to death, slightly due to his love for a human, who(m?) he rescues. I dislike the character Miggy Sow. I also dislike the child abuse that takes place to Miggy Sow. I liked it over all.
-I made chelsea buns for the first time yesterday. It was pretty exciting for me. As the top with the nuts and fruits and carmel sauce is what really makes them taste good, next time I will make them less tall, creating more tops.
- I have created a recipe to make two cookies (they are very small cookies, so maybe it should be one normal sized cookie). This is perfect for people like me who will eat too many cookies if a larger recipe is used.
You need 3/4 teaspoon of margarine, 1 teaspoon peanut b., 1.5 ts of white sugar, 1 ts of brown sugar, smidgeon of baking soda and vinegar fizzed together, a smidgeon of vanilla or pancake syrup, a handful of flour, smidgeon of salt, baking soda, baking powder, and approximately 10 m&m's. Cream ingredients 1-4 together, add the next two, mix, add everything up to the m&m's and mix together, add m&m's and mix, bake at 350 degrees on parchment paper (avoids having dishes to wash) for 6-9 minutes (they should be pretty much the same colour). Wait 2 min. and eat. Yum.

2008-12-13T20:45:00.001-08:00

The church I was at today had a list of Negative Characteristics and Sins. I found it really interesting, as for a while whenever I prayed I couldn’t think of anything to confess (though no doubt, I certainly should have had). I’m going to keep the list, which has probably more than 100 on it, to help me remember what things that I write off as okay attitudes really aren’t.

Some of the most interesting are:
Unreliable
Compromising
Flatterer
Shallow
Unsociable
Annoying
Irritating
Indifferent
A Cop-out
Wavering
Headstrong
Unfair
Tyrannical
Shortsighted
Stingy
Dogmatic
Procrastinator
Scornful
Talkative
Careless
Forgetful
Wasteful
Insensitive
Argumentative
A Worrier
Fears Man
Doctrinally Off
Independent Spirit
Loves Men’s Praise

Last cute post. I think

2008-12-13T17:05:00.000-08:00

Pandas!!!
Baby Pandas!!!!
The action really starts at second 47.
I would love to play with some Baby Pandas.
Career Goal #205: Trainer of Baby Panda Actor. Or member of Band that uses Baby Pandas in a music video.

Day Two of All Things Cute!

2008-12-10T17:58:00.000-08:00

Chuck and the Pie Maker’s romance on Pushing Daisies.

The Pie Maker has the ability to wake up dead people, for only a minute, or else someone else has to die. He uses this ability to discover who murdered innocent individuals. However when the Pie Maker woke up Chuck (who is a girl, his first kiss, and his childhood best friend), he was driven by impulse not to touch her again, which would put her back to being dead. Unfortunately/fortunately they fell in love, but can’t touch each other. They are the cutest couple ever!!!

2008-12-09T08:30:00.000-08:00

I love Kelly Ripa. I think that she is the best televison personality ever!! She is so gosh darn relateable.

2008-12-03T18:10:00.000-08:00

My AC adapter was falling apart- when I would mash the wires together to create an energy current, it would cause sparks. When I laid it on the couch, Laura (rudely, ha) told me I couldn't put it there as it would light on fire (the couch that is, she wasn't worried about my well being).
So I bought a new one.
1) They are expensive
2) They were cheaper at Staples than Future Shop
3) This makes me feel like I have gotten a deal, and that it really wasn't that expensive of purchase (it still was).

Love cheaper things. that don't light my couch on fire. or me on fire.

Question: what do I do with my old AC adapter? As it has a no garbage symbol on it.

2008-12-01T17:22:00.000-08:00

Mario Cart Love Song

You be my princess
I'll be your toad
I'll follow behind you on rainbow road
Protect you from red shells wherever we go
I promise.

Noone will touch us if we pick up a star
If you spin out you can ride in my car
When we slide together we generate sparks
in our wheels and our hearts

Chorus:
The finish line is just around the bend
I'll pause this game so our love will never end
Let's go again

The blue shell is coming so I'll go ahead
If you hang behind it'll hit me instead
but never look back
cause I'm down but not dead
I'll catch up to you

Bridge:
Don't worry about Bowser or DK
Eat this glowing mushroom
and they'll all fade away

Chorusx2
to the mushroom cup
and the flower cup
and the star cup
and the reverse cup
walalalalala
walalalalalawaluigiiiiii

2008-12-01T08:39:00.000-08:00

I love this album cover (much more than I love the band). I like all the little circles. It is very pretty.

2008-11-30T12:59:00.001-08:00

I learned this week that approximately 40% of cocoa beans have been harvested through slave trade. I haven't come to a conclusion on how to respond to this, as boycotting chocolate according to my prof and different websites is apparently the wrong way to addess this problem. However, it feels wrong to eat something that has been potentially has been produced through children's labour. hmpf.

2008-11-16T15:23:00.001-08:00

I love Beyonce.
And I need to get a paper done. My facebook and blog fast will begin again until next Friday night starting now.

2008-11-14T04:24:00.001-08:00

Last night when I was walking home from school, I got so confused. I was thinking about taking off my mittens, but then I saw a man wearing an official looking uniform get off a bus very close by. I thought, 'I can't take off my mittens around him, I will get in so much trouble!' I then realized that didn't make any sense whatsoever, and took off my mittens anyways.

Also, Margie and I saw a girl from China accept Christ yesterday!

2008-11-08T16:50:00.000-08:00

Matthew 19:3-12
And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” 7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” 10 The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” 11 But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. 12 For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.

Initially I thought it said that the Pharisees said that it would be better for man not to marry at all if divorce was not possible. I then wondered if the Pharisees were married and just really hated it, or had had a couple of divorces each (I don't know much about Pharisees and their rules). Now I realize that it was the disciples actually who made that comment. That seems crazy harsh to say, without the option of divorce, I might as well not even try for a marriage. Maybe back in the day there was an even lower view of marriage.

2008-11-01T14:18:00.000-07:00

I like Death Cab for Cutie.

I also like warm milk with a little brown sugar and a little syrup. It is kinda like carmel milk tea.

I have sooo many school assignments in the next month, I am very anxious.

I am doing very poorly in school, which I am not used to. I went to see a prof for the first time yesterday. I felt shame at the end of it. He lectured me and told me it would be irresponsible for me to drop his course. In retrospect I wish I had not told him I was thinking about dropping it. I came home and told my roommate I was unsure if I could ever have a job with a boss I would have to report too. This would leave very few jobs available. I can’t wait till this term is done.

I am reading Isaiah. I am in need of good background materials for it.

Teaching in Korea pays marvellously well. Teaching in China pays ridiculously poorly. I should look at how much the Korean dollar is worth. Or ask my roommate.

I think Mr. Big chocolate bars are tied with Mars as my favourite.

PC roasted lasagne tastes much better than it looks.

2008-10-28T16:40:00.000-07:00

I SIQ’d my Right's Controversies class today. It is a class where most people are quite up front about their views on religion. Although one girl approached me in the washroom about how she thought the questions were interesting, no one was interested in leaving their contact info. One boy (hater of religion ) who came in late saw it on his desk. He glanced at it and asked his friend (neutral to religion) what the heck it was, in a fairly hostile manner. His friend told him to ask the girl beside him (me). He was then much more polite, but told me he didn’t want to fill it out. I found it amusing and was thankful how his tone changed once he realized any comments he was about to make would be against someone he knew.
Completely unrelated, I watched some of Gladiator the other day. I think the character Russel Crowe played in it was the perfect man, due to his love of his family, respect for the original emperor, distain of the crowds, and his attitude towards the idea of killing for entertainment. Also, I kinda thought his ability to continually pwn in fighting was pretty impressive. I told one of the girls I am discipling that we should watch it at a girl's social. She asked if it was for the purpose of identifying traits we should be looking for in our future husbands. ha.
And I wonder if I would Hermione Granger's (from Harry Potter) friend if she really existed, or if I would find her annoying. I like how her name looks written out.

2008-10-21T16:47:00.000-07:00

I am very full of praise:
-Yesterday a large glass pan exploded in my kitchen (it was too hot because of the oil I was heating in it) and shards of glass shot everywhere, to my front door, into my living room. Somehow despite standing only a foot away from the pan, I didn’t get hurt at all, even though some glass landed behind me.
- Yesterday I failed (or very close to failed) a midterm (I believe there is almost a zero percent chance that I got 40% of the exam right, as they were searching for very specific terms). However, I was blessed with friends who convinced me it was okay, and at least one parent who was determined that as I tried my best, and studied all that I could, it was God’s will. Plus, I will email my prof to see if any thing is possible to change…anything. Maybe he will lose my test booklet. That would be great. (it was worth 50% of my final mark).
-This summer I was discipled by someone who was wise (and her mom was very wise, as that is where she got all her ideas from), whose ideas I am still able to use. I just finished making a chart of all my interests, things I like doing and things I am good at, in order to see what type of things I should consider doing next year. I am really thankful for that advice, though I am noticing a trend that maybe I am not skilled at teaching at all, due to opinions of some friends, and the lack of control my Sunday school class. I need to go find some grade 7-10 students off the street and try to explain grammar or a book to them, as maybe that would demonstrate my abilities.
-God isn’t a god who is cold, and far off, and unreachable. Like the awful weather. That is a very good thing.
-My DG is full of girls who are very dedicated. This weekend they are putting on a social for the journalism department and are doing announcements in the first, second and fourth year classes for it. It is really cool to see motivated first years. They also last week SIQ’d their first year class. That is amazing- we now have 13 very interested people to follow up. Praise God.
-Related to that, I am so thankful I get to co-lead a DG with our KSL, who is really vision aligned, and honest, and putting himself in a place to be used by God. Although it may have been more strategic for a younger leader to work with him, I am really thankful that I get to, as it makes me want to be do more and trust God for bigger things. I think.
-God killed Jesus to pay the penality for my sins, when I didn’t know Him, or cared for Him, or desired Him. And He LOVED Christ. And this penality remains in place even though I sin over and over again. Even though this forgiveness isn't something I quite understand fully, I am still thankful for at least the idea of it.

2008-10-16T15:56:00.000-07:00

Today I went sharing twice, and they were the best conversations ever. I never knew white girls on campus wanted to know God. But both girls were really interested, and were really happy to know how they could have a personal relationship with God (neither of them prayed there). Sooo good!
I want the recipe for caramel milk tea. What I have found online does not seem right.

2008-10-15T21:05:00.000-07:00

:Weekly Meeting was at a crazy low. Stupid Midterms
:Weekly Meeting Snack was at an all time high. Mmmm brownies. And healthy cookies.
:I am liking the band, the Silent Years. I am a fan of their music videos.
:I am interested in the Holy Spirit, and the fruit of the Spirit currently. Specifically, how the fruits of the Spirit of actually manifested in our lives practically.
:I want to move to Barrhaven. Unrelated, I think I only saw like eight minorities there. So odd. (I worked at a polling station there).
:Kids in Barrhaven are funny. One kid walked around by stamping her feet and jumping. On another occasion, a girl was running and wiped out. Her brother then purposely imitated her, intentionally throwing himself on the floor. It was really funny.
:I really liked my co worker. She is a stay-at-home mom. She really loved her husband. It was cute. They were from N. Brunswick.
:I was locked out of my house today for a couple of hours. It was a time waster, but I would have returned to school super unhappy otherwise. I got over it.
:Some of my friends got married over the weekend. I feel it was like an arranged marriage that they were bother phenomenally pleased with, as they got to choose one another themselves, yet got married very quickly. I have heard good things about arranged marriages. So this should work out quite well
:I want to do a lot of homework this weekend.
:For the past two weeks I have been unable to stop verbally processing. It’s so odd. I don't think I was like this before.
:Tomorrow I am going to a Young Adults group. I am excited.
:I went swimming in a salt water pool on Sunday night. It was super neat.

2008-10-08T11:53:00.000-07:00

+I have an awful listening capacity. Very Very Poor. Whether it is in class, or in church (particularly in church, despite having a pastor gifted in speaking), or even listening to my friends when they speak for extended periods of time, my attention starts to wane.

I was reading (not listening) to a commentary by Piper called, How to Hear the Word of God. It talks about the parable of the soils (Luke 8:12-15) and the importance of how we hear. I feel very convicted about his second point on this,
““. . . and from the one who has not, even what he thinks that he has will be taken away.” The first three ways of hearing are deceived. They “think” they have the word, but they don’t. And even this illusion will be destroyed some day: “What he thinks that he has will be taken away.”

+Also, I listened the sermon, Unlimited Limited Atonement (by Mark Driscoll, recommended by Peter Eddy). I think I agree with that. maybe? But it still leaves God choosing who will go to hell, despite their lives being blessed by the cross. Hell lasts eternity. That seems to make what happened in their life…almost a moot point (I’m not sure I am using that phrase correctly). I don’t like this answer I’m finding. Even though I used to affirm it. I still may end up affirming it.

On the upside…then I can trust God is sovereign when I pray, and that he won’t just step aside and say, no, it is up to their dead hearts to decide to chose me. (even the idea of God saying that is very distasteful). (to me).

Maybe I will start to try to not think about it.

2008-10-03T15:42:00.000-07:00

Things:
1. I feel I wasted my afternoon, making my tomorrow rushed.
2. I love Chinese people. This week I was studying at Starbucks at Southkeys, and this little Chinese girl with nerd glasses (no guardian in sight) came up, moved my backpack, sat with me and explained Pokemon to me. I was confused- kids don’t like me, so why did she?
3. I shared with a Chinese girl today. Although she disagreed with me, she offered to let me share with her housemates sometime. Random. It was interesting, as she was opposed to hell as it made her think it was a pressure to believe. I explained that as a Christian, and only shared the positive parts of the Gospel, I would be negligent. Normally I am not super hell focused, but I kinda “felt?” the Spirit leading in that.
4. Earlier this week another girl disagreed with me on hell- she thought that those parts of the Bible were untrue, in order for people to turn to God out of fear. Yet she thought everything anyone ever said, thought, or wrote was from God. I really liked that girl (not due to her beliefs).
5. Although I think the first two years of university are suppose to be the “friendly” years for classmates, this year it has been really interesting- in almost every single law class I have been able to have conversations with my classmates. (In comparison to approximately zero in previous years). I may like people.
6. I kinda want Sarah Palin to have a cooking show. I love the way she talks. I think she should make fewer references to soccer/hockey/tennis parents. Her argument against Obama’s state run health care was…foolish. And her stats on American small businesses were also not well researched.
7. My previous views on Calvinism are changing… And I am no longer sure of how to interpret Romans 12. And if God predestines some…is that simply based on his foreknowledge of who will “choose” him? But no one desires God on their own. Yet otherwise does that mean he has chosen people to go to hell? How does that correlate with his desire for none to perish? I don’t know.
8. This week I argued obnoxiously with a couple of people. Egh. I didn’t mean to. But I did. And now I am not even sure I agree with what I was arguing for.
9. I kinda wonder if there had been more girls in the min. in my first year if I would still have ended up a leader in our min. Maybe I used to be more vision aligned.
10. I am trying to figure out my spiritual gifts, as right now I am confused with what they are.
11. I want a new sweater. A bright red one. With toogles, and zippers and buttons and whistles, and pockets (well…maybe not all those things. But some of those things).
12. There were many happy people on the bus today.

2008-09-20T17:12:00.000-07:00

My roommate is currently singing in Korean with her headphones in. I think she believes I can't hear her, or she has forgotten that I'm in the room. I love her.

2008-08-10T13:45:00.000-07:00

Lately I have gotten back into listening to mark driscoll. So this afternoon, I was at desiringgod, but then decided to check out marshill instead. So that is what I did.
I noticed the format was much different, but i remembered reading that their site was going to be updated. I continued to navigate their site, becoming more and more frustrated about why I couldn't find sermons.
Then I noticed a link to Rob Bell and thought that was very odd...and noted I had failed to add church at the end of marshill...
I found my sermons. Much happier now.

2008-08-09T21:19:00.000-07:00

Things to think of doing when you want your friends (group b) to think you and your smaller group of friends(group a)were having tonnes of fun on their Saturday night, and not just watching youtube and going on facebook (which group a was very content to do until they learned group b was doing something that SOUNDED more interesting)
- Each get a Tattoo (and piercings- works less well when members of group already have piercings)
- Each get a Tattoo of initials group a makes (this would have resulte in JAM)
- Each get a Tattoo of JAM in Chinese (cus everybody does it)
- Each get a Tattoo of JAM in Arabic (cus no body does it)
- Each get a whole sleeve of Arabic Tattoos (hopefully still saying JAM...potentially JAM over and over).
- Getting a camara and posing with people doing illegal activities
- Do illegal activities
...
this list resulted in...
- Watching more youtube.

2008-08-05T08:15:00.000-07:00

Great Ideas I Recently Have Had:

- I should make it a goal to have eaten or drank at every food place on Bank Street (excluding grocery stores, convenience stores, and stores that are like Canadian Tire that have a cooler by the cash). Bakeries are allowed (obviously). I think maybe it should be a loop, starting on the south, make it to the hill, and then come back again. This goal will be implimented if I become someone with a “real” job. While remaining a student with present involvements, I still believe that I have much more to do than any young professional; therefore much too burdened to take on this exciting project.

Great Ideas I Previously Had:

- When the Starbucks Cash Card promotion on (buying a cash card=free drink), I bought three (the maxium) in order to receive three free drinks. Unfortunately it appears I have been devastatingly deceived, as I just received one in the mail. Bu Hau. Maybe I choose to register some to go to my Hanover home- hopefully two arrived in the mail there. Fingers Crossed Now!

Realizations:

- I have learned today that I am in need of bangs (pieces of hair that are shorter above the eyes on people) in order to be the right type of white person. This is sad for me, as when I was trying to grow my bangs out in grade 7, it resulted in me cutting off all my hair (forcing me to become a male looking version of myself) in order to be truly effective.

- I should never buy bubble tea. Despite how much I enjoy the CoConut Sherbet with Pearls, it will never compare to the enjoyment found in a Chocolate Peanut Butter with Cookie Pieces Milkshake (available for purchase at The Works). Yum.

2008-08-04T18:22:00.000-07:00

1. I just ran into a friend from some classes two years ago. I saw her on my birthday this year down in the market. She gave me a hug (which was surprising, as although we are class friends, even now I can't quite remember her name...I am pretty sure it was an odd name. I just remembered it....it is weird) which made me realize what a blessing it is to be a hug giver. Anyways, she was stressing as she is really really busy with school. I thought when she was talking to me, should I ask if I could pray for her? as I have never shared my faith with her (and I don't believe she knows I (l) C4C. I chickened out. So lame.

2. I really enjoy my summer course. Our class has a union which bargains to get our participation mark. I am part of said bargaining unit. Our prof has very high expectations for our mark. Currently he has offered 5.5, which is unreasonable. I think he is going to keep shooting our counter proposals down. It still is pretty interesting.

3. I really need another housemate. :(. T'is stressin' me.

4. I was in a bicycle "accident" with my toys'r'us bike today. Two cars (granted one car had Mr. L and Adam in it), and a woman walking a dog asked if I was okay. That was nice. I am now scared to go onto any curb with my bicycle- I keep thinking that I am approaching with a wrong angle. oops.

2008-07-24T05:54:00.001-07:00

Dear Monica Lee,
My house is looking for one or two new roommates.
Cost: less than 400 all inclusive (this price is not definite due to the previous 1-2)
Can move in whenever, Rent would be starting Sept.
They must be clean, and female.
Four bus routes are very very close.
If you hear of anyone., let me know.

2008-07-17T15:35:00.000-07:00

I like these things:
Kanye West - Homecoming
Having coldplay tickets
Corn on the cob
Free gum
Employment Law
Libraries
Jasmine Tea
Martha Stewart
Starbucks free beverage coupons.

So.Good.

p.s. it is a little creepy that a mini-martha head is pictured before her site's url

2008-07-03T16:32:00.000-07:00

Belated Happy Canada Day.
Tomorrow I have a job interview. If you read this, please pray that it goes well. It is as a writer/editor at Tunney's Pasture.
When I got back from Asia, I thought that chocolate was the most disgusting food in the world. Unfortunately I have become accustomed to the taste. Cookies have once again become my favourite food.
I have been missing Asian food, so I learned how to make Tomatoe and Egg. My first attempt went poorly. My second attempt improved slightly.
I am reading Charismatic Chaos right now. It is really enjoyable.

2008-06-25T15:09:00.000-07:00

Today I became sunburned. This made me tired and I will say, more emotional?
I went to visit my guidence councillor (or a guidence councillor, as I have spent time with others before her).
I discovered that because of my many switches of program, I now must fulfill the most recent (as of last week) requirements of my program. This means an extra course, meaning I can't graduate on time (currently with my minor). I cried. and cried. and could not stop crying. I just kept on going. I told her I was very tired and to ignore me. It was very embarassing.
I tried to ask questions about how to get around it, and everytime my voice cracked. I was just so sad. If I hadn't changed my minor last week, I most likely wouldn't have had to get this extra course.
Eventually I stopped crying so much and apologized to her. I wonder how often that happens to her. I wonder if she will remember who I am in the future.
I wonder if I will my protest will go through.
I hope so.

2008-06-22T20:30:00.000-07:00

1. I want to see Pride and Prejudice so badly. But I don’t want to pay five dollars (at least to rent it). So I will wait and find a friend who owns it.
2. I like my mom a lot. As a solution to number one, she suggested buying her Pride and Prejudice as a birthday present, and watch it before I give it to her.
3. I think I have poor communication skills when I am not listening carefully. That is almost all the time. I realized this weekend how often I don’t really pay attention to the things grown-ups at my church say to me, leading me to answering them incorrectly.
Ex. A man at my church asked me what I learned on my trip. I was confused.
i) I don’t super enjoy projects called ‘trips’, but that is probably a sin issue that I need to get over
ii) I thought he was meant my language skills (as it is true I learned things from God, but due to how it was phrased I really thought he meant language,)
iii) I was confused why my now mad azn skillz would be what he was most concerned about
So I answered, ‘Not very much.’
I think I would have been best off just asking him to repeat/explain himself, as afterwards I seriously considered writing him a post-it note attached to my update letter, explaining my confusion which lead to why my answer was…stupid.

2008-04-24T18:47:00.000-07:00

i. Deference is a noun, meaning
1. Submission or courteous yielding to the opinion, wishes, or judgement of another.
2. Courteous respect. Is synonymous with honour. http://www.answers.com/topic/deference
ii. Deference is used a lot in the case of Dunsmuir v. New Brunswick.
iii. This take home exam is slowly becoming more interesting and understandable. This is due to the grace of God. Seriously.
iv. God has been crazy great to me this past week. It is amazing. I don’t deserve it. Not that I ever deserve anything, being of a fallen nature. But still, when God is extra good, I see that extra clearly.
v. I have had the worst taste in music lately. Songs I hated I have been enjoying (John Mayor- Says). Vanessa Carleton has now become cool (to me). I love the song, The One, that she sings with Stevie Nicks. I love it with a big heart. I really like the lyrics. http://youtube.com/watch?v=_T0KezGzzQI , http://www.lyricstime.com/vanessa-carlton-the-one-lyrics.html. I have favourited an American Idol, Jason Castro. I like him a lot. I think he is a Christian. I want dreadlocks like him. He sang the song Hallelujah, by Jeff Buckley, which I really like. I also liked his version of Over the Rainbow. And the song Clumsy. (all found on youtube). I even liked the cover of Memory he did (cover from Cats) which he was torn apart for.
vi. Pita Dippers are soo great from Roosters. They are worth more than the 3.14 they are charged. You get so much food! 2.5 pitas, ¾ c. hummus (which is expensive), and 2/3 c. of vegetables (which today was the equivilant of one tomatoe, and a bunch of pickles). Very full.
vii. My legs are more covered with drawings than ever before. I think this must mean I have studied more than ever before.
viii. I have made science study friends. They are nice. I should steal the friends of friends more often.
ix. Studying at school makes me spend more on food.
x. Studying at school makes me more motivated to study.
xi. I think that balances out.
xii. Back to work I go.

2008-04-23T09:59:00.000-07:00

Things Sarah Taught Me Today:
"People don't compliment me on my legs now. But they will when I am old. I will have legs like a black person, not a white person, or an asian person, they are like prunes...Black people don't crack. Except for Beyonce, she is an exception. She is like a white person who doesn't age well- she has cellulite on her thighs. I saw it on a tabloid. Other black people have awesome bodies."
Laura: well, what do you think about Russians
"I don't like them. they are racist. And they drink too much. And they beat their wives. Really what is there to like about them?"
hahahaha, I love Sarah.

2008-04-20T18:19:00.000-07:00

a) I dislike door-to-door electricity people. Yesterday I signed up for a stablization plan that I think is suppose to last five years. I don't want that, but I felt coerced. Luckily they have to call to confirm again before it applies. In the future I think I will lie (the Holy thing) and tell them that I am moving shortly. Or that my parents aren't home. I don't live with my parents and that should make no impact on my electricity choices. But whatevs.

b)This semester in my Sunday School class, I have been learning such practical things about how to live in a way pleasing to God (this is a class for middle school kids). It is great relearning all these things I forget so often. In my class today, we were talking about the Goat and the Sheep parable, and how the sheep served others like they were serving Christ. I have been noticing (and my roommate has noticed :S) how often I don’t do that, and instead am, or at least appear, super judgemental towards my friends and housemates. T’is too bad. However, I happy about realizing this, as I am all about character improvement and being rebuked (even if it is self/ Holy Spirit Inflicted)! Yay!!

2008-04-14T16:55:00.000-07:00

haha, I was going to write a post on support raising, but then I started to listen to this song by Usher.

i) Usher dances super good. He is like a better version of JT. He (and his back up dancers) can make his (their)top part of his (their) body pop crazily.
ii) The music in this song is really catchy.
iii) Unfortunately the lyrics (I just googled them) are super sketchy- unless he is talking
'bout his wife. quel damage.

:(

iv) interesting fact- there appears only to be one white person in this video. I have never noticed white to other people ratios in radio before.

but it's so catchy!

I wonder if I would judge others for really enjoying this song.

2008-04-14T05:59:00.001-07:00

I have nothing of interest to say.
___

There is a vegetarian restaurant called The Table that I am excited to try this week. It is buffet style, and the amount you pay is based on its weight (plate weight discluded). And it looks nice on the outside.

___

Starbucks now sells doughnuts. I think this is stupid.

a) Why pay 1.85 for a doughnut when you can get them for 85 cents at Tim Hortons?
b) The types of doughnuts are less exciting than at Tim Hortons (as in they don't have the pretty strawberry one with white icing and sprinkles)
c) I bet many people will buy them anyways because they want to see why they can be charged 1.85
c) This bothers me that Starbucks can take advantage of it's loyal clientel in this way

It is almost like me knowing as a 12 year old that my parents expect to receive at christmas or birthdays coupon booklets that promise them hugs or cookies as gifts. (cookies made with ingredients that they paid for). This is all okay when I am little.

Starbucks is this twelve year old- expecting people to be content paying two dollars per baked good- and i (the parent) am content paying 2 dollars per baked-good normally, as the effort has been made to be slightly different, and the environment is nice. I am getting what should be expected from them.

However, if I continued to give my mom a coupon booklet for hugs or to make her dinner, (dependent upon her buying the groceries) when I am twenty-five and make more money than her, it shows that I am just trying to get a free ride at Christmas.

By selling average doughnuts at two dollars, Starbucks has become a twenty-five year-old pretending to be twelve. Instead of giving gifts of the appropriate worth due to their position in life (good baked goods that should cost two dollars), they are selling child's gifts at a grown up price (doughnuts at two dollars, as people are used to paying two dollars for baked goods at Starbucks).

(haha two dollars really isn't that much- only when you think of how little that doughnut could cost).

I apologize for that analogy-it was super clear when I started, but has kinda broken down. But I enjoy talking about baked goods.

Anyways- onwards to essay writing!!!!

Big Feelings of Sadness.

2008-04-07T18:16:00.000-07:00

Over the past couple of weeks, I have thought about graduating on time, in order to go to Teacher's College- specifically at Queen's, as I really like the campus, and would be interested in being part of their ministry (and have heard that by joining staff, the likelihood of being placed there is small). Although I was pondering with the idea, I hadn't bothered to look at the course requirements. I just did, and need another five credits in English and History in order to qualify- which is possible, if I a)stay an extra year at C-ton and then move on, or b)I would only graduate with a law degree without honours and forget about my philosophy/religion components.
I am disappointed, I liked having a tentative plan when I graduated that wasn't C4C. :( .

2008-04-03T20:16:00.000-07:00

Ben says:
ya, the three ways to not go about doing ev include...using sock puppets and chasing after people, 2) dressing up as Bill Nye and proclaiming "Now you knooooow" 3) becoming a transformer and trying to destroy the Satanbots (there is this funky dance that goes along with this)...
********
I want to go to Western. C-ton's got none of that.

2008-03-30T13:54:00.000-07:00

"Romans 9 is like a tiger going around devouring freewillers like me." -John Piper 2.46

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BByHE5o7qMs&feature=related

funny.

2008-03-26T22:20:00.000-07:00

I'm loving Gwen Stefani right now (and her two asian tagalongs).
Particularly Sweet Escape.
...
I ate too many brownies in my attempt to energize myself to stay up until my paper is done. Now my stomach is le achin'. I should have just drank coffee instead.
...
Yawn.

Paris Hilton

2008-03-21T12:01:00.001-07:00

I want to bring back the Paris Hilton saying, "that's hot."

2008-03-18T18:33:00.000-07:00

I have three litres of cooked baby carrots. I'm not quite sure what to do with them.

2008-03-15T14:28:00.000-07:00

Part I: Rant
Egh. I hate it when pastors say what they think women think as fact. They aren’t women-all they can address is what is Biblical for women to do! Or if it is not even listed in the Bible, they can say, “I have noticed that....”, or “My wife feels....”, not how all women actually feel! They don’t know! Pastors shouldn’t even draw generalizations about women from their wife, as their wife’s opinions probably reflect on their (the husband/pastor) own beliefs/values.

Part II: Confusion
This week I have hated what the Bible has said about certain things a lot. It has confused me- I really like the Bible. I find it interesting, and necessary and important. But this week, I have disagreed/not understood with an aspect of Christian life a tremendous amount. Maybe it is a matter of just not being spiritually mature, or not recognizing God’s wisdom, or thinking I know better, or at least feeling that it is wrong, or hard and therefore ridiculous, and doesn’t make sense to me. Paired with sermons by preachers who state that this teaching was something that all women agree with bothered me even more. I am waiting for my God to break my heart about this, as otherwise I think I will become embittered.
I think I understand why homosexuals walk away from the church.
I think I understand why feminists disregard scripture.
But I don’t want to do either in the slightest.
I just want to understand.

Part III: Question
Al Mohler said:
“Second, the Bible presents celibacy as a gift — apparently a rare gift — that is granted to some believers in order that they would be liberated for special service in Christ's name. Paul's discussion of celibacy indicates that this gift is marked by the absence of lust and sexual desire that would compromise or complicate ministry as an unmarried person.”

I have a friend, who is of marrying age (actually, now that I think of it, I have plural friends in this situation). They really like members of opposite sex (in the they- find-them-physically-attractive-type-way, ect.), and in the past were quite certain they wanted to get married, have a brood of kids, ect. However, lately ministry has become a bigger deal. So much so, they are shutting down anything that could potentially even look like it could be bgr-esque in the future.

Has this previous desire of non-celibacy excluded them from having the gift of celibacy? Is this period of choosing to be single for a time to devote to ministry okay, even if it turns out in a couple of years they change their mind and get married, so it is not a life-long commitment of serving God? Or is this just them pushing off the commitment of marriage in order to avoid facing spiritual/personal maturity which is normally found in adulthood? Is pursuing ministry for a couple of years in young adulthood an okay reason to push off serious relationships, even though some would argue that marriage is normative in adulthood, as well as advocated by the Bible, and therefore should be sought out sooner than later ? (I think those are mostly derivatives of the same question)

I am very interested in hearing people’s thoughts. Please respond.

Some things I love.

2008-03-11T03:49:00.000-07:00

-Being finished essays
-Having alot of sleep but still waking up early
-My housemates. Particularly Sarah Jeong. I have said this many times to various people, but if I ever have a daughter, I want her to be exactly like Ms. Jeong.
-Vegetable Lasagne.
-Brusselsprouts and tofu.
-Naps.
-Big Hair.
-The colour gray.
-David Crowder Band.

2008-03-03T14:31:00.000-08:00

Currently I am working on a paper about Ontario’s Ombudsman. I don’t think I quite understand how this independent office of legislature functions. I wish I did, as then it might be easier to discuss.

I went to London on the weekend. Many adventures were had. I was able to get on an earlier bus to London from Toronto than anticipated, which was excellent, as what was to be a 2.5 hour bus ride turned into 4.5 hours, due to a snow storm. On the way there, the driver kept making an announcement that there was no smoking on the bus. I was thinking it was really weird, that someone would feel free enough to light up with their bus buddy sitting so close to them. It turned out someone kept going to the washroom. Eventually the bus driver yelled at him, and told him off for pretending to be sick, and that he was going to let him off near the next restaurant. The man told him he couldn’t do it. But the bus driver did. It was pretty amazing. It was so cold outside, and there was no way wherever he was dropped off had a bus or train terminal.

I went to my first Superstore selling grown up clothing. I think that actually may have been my highlight. This grocery store had a gym, a kitchen (for cooking classes), a dietician and pretty much everything else anyone would ever want. Plus they sold pretty bags of bean sprouts.

High school musical was pretty fantastic. It was both the first and second. As I hadn’t seen the second one, I was fairly impressed. I think I like the plot and the songs better when they are at the summer resort.

I have more London things to say. But I feel I will want to take many breaks while writing about Andre Marin. So I will continue later.

2008-02-23T16:49:00.000-08:00

I am reading Faithful Women and Their Extraordinary God by Noel Piper. I love it. It is so enjoyable, telling the stories of women (most of whom were missionaries) who served the Lord, who were sinners, who knew the Bible, and memorized it, and LONGED for God to have His rightful place in people's hearts all over the world. It is so good. I was reading about Gladys Aylward and I forgot that it was non-fiction a couple of times, as it was like an adventure story. My favourite so far is Ahn Ei Sook however.
I need to reread this though, as while I have been caught up in it, I have failed to take application points from these women's lives (which was laid out for the read at the end of the chapters, so I would be remiss not to take note of them).

Also, I think this article is really great:
http://www.desiringgod.org/media/pdf/blog/1088_why_i_would_die_for_south_africa.pdf

2008-02-21T18:19:00.000-08:00

I just talked to my support coach for the first time. I am now looking forward to support raising. I am slowly becoming more excited for East Asia. Goooood Times.

2008-02-19T20:53:00.000-08:00

Tonight has been a night of much joy.
I went downtown with Courtney to Oh So Good. We walked past it the first time, turning a simple dessert date into a night adventure. When we finally got there, the best part was just choosing what dessert to eat, as it was like a showcase of deliciousness. I think the second best part was the discussion of having a crush on a pair of boots. They were argyle. Happy things.

When I got home, Laura and I discussed many important things, such as movies and Mark Wahlberg. She had just gotten back from Jumper, featuring Sam L J of Snakes on a Plane fame (and the green eggs and ham poem remix) and Rachel Bilson from the OC glory days. I love her. If I could be an actress, who couldn’t be Natalie Portman, it would be her. I guess the thought that I have put into this (which is almost next to nothing) could be a bit weird.
Also a topic of discussion were the Pirates! Books and the genetic makeup of bananas.
Good times.

2008-02-15T19:11:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Jo and I were to meet up to go sharing, but we conveyed the incorrect times to one another.
This meant that I felt convicted that I should be sharing my faith, so I was really intentional in talking with this guy in my philosophy class. He offered to let me use his markers while drawing in class, and I accepted, thinking that his way of making friends was very similar to a student in Gr 1. (Back story on this person: he is a personal space invader, a loud talker, and only wears red and black stripes (last point more for interest sake than anything else). The first week I sat beside him and quickly realized it just wouldn’t work out. However someone has moved into my spot, so I was forced to take up my original residence). Anyways, after class he wanted us to switch notes for a midterm, and although I feel mine were sufficient for myself, I agreed in hopes of sharing with him- so I had a purpose. So I end up explaining how I believe that there is only one way to reach God and that means that religions can’t be compatible. Then he starts asking about my drawings. Apparently when I thought he was invading my space to copy my notes, he was actually staring at my pictures. He was hoping that I could do computer something-something to help design his website. So he also had an extra purpose other than my notes. I found it really amusing.
When I got home, I look at my notebook and realize what he ended up photocopying was actually some ministry stuff, particularly a prayer list, and a page titled, the Spirit Filled Life, and then a picture of a floor plan, with each room labeled as an area of both Jo and my own lives. I feel that he will be confused.

Twenty-One

2008-02-03T13:32:00.000-08:00

It was a good day yesterday.
1. We had our girls retreat the night before, and although I only got three hours of sleep, I had multiple hours of being awake in a really enjoyable fashion. A topic of discussion was, should women teach at Bible School/Seminary?
2. My only complaint about the girls night was that my feet were really cold. I could have fixed this solution by bringing socks. But I left them at my house, so I spent my three sleeping hours trying to keep my feet propped against a heater on a wall. It didn't go well.
3. C4C invaded my church today. I think we had more than 20 "new" comers because of a baptism. My pastor has suggested getting Jeremy, Peter and I all rebaptised over a period of three weeks in order to continue a mass of guests coming, eventually tricking them into staying at OCBC.
4. I became a member last week at OCBC. I was annouced as Meredith So. I like that name.
5. I bought an AE sweater yesterday on sale for twenty dollars. It is soo nice.
6. I ran into a girl who was in my law class last year, whose name I couldn't remember, and she gave me a hug. It was funny, as we don't know each other very well. I think people who are very hug friendly are blessed slightly, as well as being a blessing to others.
7. I decided to apply as an intern to EA last week. So I did.
8. I then started praying feverently that I would not be accepted (as an intern). I don't have any experience in EA, and going to Scotland last year was a very very short period of time.
9 . Hinzelman came to speak at our WM about God and people of faith.
10 I concluded that I wanted to have that faith, and what would be a better step of faith than to go as an Intern (as I don't have any experience to trust in).
11 I checked my email. I wasn't accepted as an intern.
12 I am okay with that.
13 I meet with Hinzelman and three other girls.
14 We were "Hinzeled."
15. On the bus ride home, one of the girls decided she is going to apply to go on project (the rest of us already applied). It is really amazing to see how so many people are applying to go on project without being pressured to go or anything.
16. On Friday there was a line up for our shower, so I decided just to leave my house not being super clean, and was slightly cranky due to that.
17. It was a snow storm.
18. I was cold. and wet. and REALLY REALLy tired. I fell twice on the walking trip to Carleton. I ended up crying. It was really sad. (as in pathetic, not sad for other people).
19. I bonded with my pastor's Five-and-three-quarters-year-old today. She is cute.
20. I went for lunch to a diner with Janeja and Monica Lee on Saturday. It was nice. We discussed make up and the perception that girls only wear it to either a)impress boys, or because of b) low self-esteem. I disagree with both of these assumptions. It was a good conversation.
21. I turned twenty-one. :) I was given some really cool things. Particularly a unicorn birthday card with stickers. I think I will post a picture of it on facebook. It's amazing.

Exciting Things

2008-01-28T15:12:00.000-08:00

I have discovered the kid drinks at Starbucks. 230 ml for only 1 dollar. I am so cheap.

2008-01-26T05:00:00.000-08:00

Porn Nation happened this week. We had been praying for 900 students to come, very confidently. However, we saw approximately 280. Around 50% of students who came (almost all were non-Christians, other than those who were there with C4C) asked to be followed up in some sort of capacity, and the majority appeared to be significantly moved or impressed by it, saying thay wished they had brought friends. Ten students indicated that they had accepted Christ into their lives. It is really exciting.

Big Feelings

2008-01-22T20:26:00.000-08:00

Worry, I wonder all the time why worryIt's killing me, forget about it
-Why Worry, All American Rejects

She says I'm caught up In triviality All I really wanna know is What she thinks of me I think my love for her Makes me miss the point
I miss the point
-Underwhelmed, Sloan

34"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day's own trouble be sufficient for the day."
-Matthew 6:34

"To seek the kingship of God first in every affair and every moment of life is a thrilling way to live. It's full of freedom and peace and joy and adventure—and hardship; and it's worth it all. If you believe in the kingship of your heavenly Father, you do not need to be anxious about anything."
-Piper,Do Not Be Anxious About Your Life, September 2, 1984

Dear Monica,

This is kind of what I was talking to you about before I went to work on my essay today. On one hand my question, should I drop a class? seems rediculous, which I think you understand more clearly than I.
Something I have been thinking about lately is anxiety. I know people who are often worried- in general, I wonder why. I am quick to think that they should stop and seek after His Kingdom. I have scripture to back it up. I am personally not often worried. When I am, I do not enjoy it. It bothers me a tremendous amount, and causes a great deal of unhappiness in a big way.
For some reason, I have been worrying over the last five days. My worry isn't concerned about food, or clothes, or monetary provisions. It isn't about pleasing my parents, or friends. It has been about choices. It has been over something simple. Very simple. However, something that is very simple has an impact on when I graduate. But even that I am not worried about. Janeja (holler!) in the past said that the idea of graduating on time is scary, as he has to grow up. For me graduating late is something I have tried to avoid as much as possible. Not that I have big plans for September 2009. If anything graduating later could be beneficial if I decide to join staff, as I would have an extra four months to support raise. So really, once my decision (for probably one of the last times) is made (again) I will be okay with that. So. My worry is, (rediculously) when should I have my DG? During my class to be as strategic as possible about the girls who are in it? I would have to drop. But do I want to? I already have bought the text book. and I love the course. But if I only take four courses, I could spend more time focusing on things I like. And never be concerned about a dead line, and for the next year, be more relaxed when only taking four courses. And be able to stay on campus for an extra semester (something I am not sure about). Both options are not not pleasing to God.
I hate worry.

P.S. This post was written several weeks ago, but then I never posted it. I am no longer worried. I decided to drop the course. My God provided me with peace that transcended all understanding.

QUIZzeS!!!!!

2008-01-17T07:59:00.000-08:00

Which 'Office' character are you?
Found on MSN Today
By Denette Wilford
2007-11-27

1. What is the favourite thing about your job?
A. I am usually the centre of attention.
B. I get to pull pranks on my co-workers.
C. I get to keep a vast collection of bobblehead dolls on my desk.
D. I look forward to my office’s annual “free pretzel day.”
E. I’m head of the accounting department.

2. What is your best quality/skill?
A. I consider myself a friend first, and a boss second.
B. I can type 90 words a minute.
C. I’m the company’s top salesman.
D. I’m serious and hard-working but I’m seriously underpaid.
E. As a former child beauty pageant contestant, I enjoy being judged.

3. What is your worst quality/skill?
A. I have a tendency to reveal personal information about my staff.
B. I sometimes get too close to my co-workers.
C. I lack basic social skills and common sense.
D. I find it extremely difficult to hide my disdain and disrespect for my boss.
E. I am cold, judgmental and uptight.

4. Which best describes the car you drive?
A. Chrysler Sebring convertible
B. Toyota Yaris hatchback
C. Pontiac Trans Am
D. Chrysler 300
E. Ford Focus

5. What do you find embarassing about yourself that you wouldn’t want anyone else to find out?
A. I burned my foot in a George Foreman grill.
B. I was banned from a major restaurant chain because I was drunk and stole drinks from other people’s tables.
C. I wear a Casio calculator watch.
D. My daughter once flirted with the office temp.
E. I wear a children’s size 10.

6. What actor/movie do you love?
A. I idolize Drew Carey and Ryan Stiles.
B. My desert island movie picks are Fargo, Edward Scissorhands, The Breakfast Club, Dazed and Confused and The Princess Bride.
C. My favourite movie is The Crow.
D. I absolutely love Pam Grier.
E. I enjoy the acting of Harry Connick Jr.

7. What’s your favourite food/restaurant?
A. I consider Sbarro fine dining.
B. My favourite yogurt flavor is mixed berry.
C. I like beets.
D. I enjoy a hot, chewy roll of buttered dough.
E. I’m a vegetarian, so vegetables.

8. What would you be doing if you weren’t working at your current job?
A. Hopefully, nothing to do with a pyramid scheme. Maybe improv or stand-up.
B. I’m skilled at drawing… perhaps a career in graphic design.
C. I’m trained in the art of surveillance.
D. I enjoy working on crossword puzzles.
E. I rule the Party Planning Committee with an iron fist, so something along those same lines.

9. What would people be surprised to know about you?
A. I hit an employee with my car.
B. I’ve walked over a bed of hot coals.
C. I have a hidden arsenal of weapons in your desk, including nunchucks, throwing stars, brass knuckles and a boomerang.
D. I like to relax by drinking red wine and watching television mysteries.
E. I think the clothing at Gap Kids too flashy.

10. Who is the most useless person in your office?
A. Definitely our human resources representative. Yuck.
B. My manager.
C. Everyone but me and my manager.
D. My manager.
E. My manager

If you answered mostly As, you have my apologies, because you are like Michael Scott. You believe you are the office clown, an expert in the business you are in and you think you are every employees’ pal. Unfortunately, you are also socially awkward, insensitive and ignorant and your quest to be liked and look cool comes off as pathetic and desperate.
If you answered mostly Bs, you are most like Pam Beesly, the friendly voice of reason in a sometimes chaotic workplace. The bright spots of your day include pulling practical jokes, playing FreeCell on your computer and making people happy by doing extra, unnecessary work.
If you answered mostly Cs (and I seriously hope you didn’t), you are just like Dwight Schrute, a bizarre, egotistical know-it-all who, ironically enough, happens to be gullible and easily tricked and tormented. You worship your boss, often get involved in his/her schemes and will take any opportunity to gain power and authority.
If you answered mostly Ds, you are exactly like Stanley Hudson: hard-working and serious, yet grumpy and disgruntled. Your boss annoys you, your pay depresses you, and for the most part, you’re laid back… unless something or someone gets you angry, then you become frightening.
If you answered mostly Es, you are just like Angela Martin, uptight, rigid and frown on all the frivolous activity in your workplace. You are an office safety officer, your complaints are infamous with human resources, you’re highly emotional, and no one can do a task better than you.

Committment, Boundaries.

2008-01-07T20:40:00.000-08:00

I have heard people talk about setting boundaries in ministry before (well actually in other things as well, but here is not the sphere where they will be discussed). I have been told it is beneficial for leaders to do so, as it demostrates to less involved individuals that taking on a little more responsibility will not lead to their lives being taken over, or mysteriously sucked away in a huge vacuum (I'm really tiried, so the analogy seems to be appropriate). I have never really done this though, intentionally at least (set boundaries, not being a vacuum). I prefer to be busy, it makes me feel involved, important, useful.
In my second year, I remember being asked to organize a postering party. I should have said no. Instead of feeling like I was asked, I felt like it was expected for me to say yes. I was aware many people were stressed, uber stressed with other things at the time. I was afraid that if I said no, I would look unfaithful, petulant (I over thought it potentially), not desiring more involvement. I became stressed, and did what a think a normal unversity student would do. I called my mom. She quickly identified that through this simple agreement to do something that normally wouldn't have been a big hassel, that I was someone whose choices weren't school oriented, and my desires weren't the same as my parents (something she probably had been feeling for a year before this occassion), and that I was agreeing to do more than I could at the time. She scolded, I cried. I rethought what I should be doing in C4C. I thought about quitting...pretty much all my committments. After a week and talking to two individuals, I was reminded of how valuable this min is, and to drop out completely would be a devasting choice. In the end, I calmed down. This could have been avoided if I had just said no, and trusted that God would raise up another labourer to do what needed to be done, and that I wouldn't have been hated on for focussing on midterms.
Currently I am not stressed out. I am questioning whether it is selfish for me to remove my availability during a time period, despite recognizing that this will create difficulties for others. I have learned that boundaries save future distress. But when are they no longer simply preventative measures, and instead turn into being selfish and inflexible? Aren't boundaries...in their own definition, guarded from being flexibile? Again, I think I am overthinking.