Big Feelings

Worry, I wonder all the time why worryIt's killing me, forget about it
-Why Worry, All American Rejects

She says I'm caught up In triviality All I really wanna know is What she thinks of me I think my love for her Makes me miss the point
I miss the point
-Underwhelmed, Sloan

34"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day's own trouble be sufficient for the day."
-Matthew 6:34

"To seek the kingship of God first in every affair and every moment of life is a thrilling way to live. It's full of freedom and peace and joy and adventure—and hardship; and it's worth it all. If you believe in the kingship of your heavenly Father, you do not need to be anxious about anything."
-Piper,Do Not Be Anxious About Your Life, September 2, 1984

Dear Monica,


This is kind of what I was talking to you about before I went to work on my essay today. On one hand my question, should I drop a class? seems rediculous, which I think you understand more clearly than I.
Something I have been thinking about lately is anxiety. I know people who are often worried- in general, I wonder why. I am quick to think that they should stop and seek after His Kingdom. I have scripture to back it up. I am personally not often worried. When I am, I do not enjoy it. It bothers me a tremendous amount, and causes a great deal of unhappiness in a big way.
For some reason, I have been worrying over the last five days. My worry isn't concerned about food, or clothes, or monetary provisions. It isn't about pleasing my parents, or friends. It has been about choices. It has been over something simple. Very simple. However, something that is very simple has an impact on when I graduate. But even that I am not worried about. Janeja (holler!) in the past said that the idea of graduating on time is scary, as he has to grow up. For me graduating late is something I have tried to avoid as much as possible. Not that I have big plans for September 2009. If anything graduating later could be beneficial if I decide to join staff, as I would have an extra four months to support raise. So really, once my decision (for probably one of the last times) is made (again) I will be okay with that. So. My worry is, (rediculously) when should I have my DG? During my class to be as strategic as possible about the girls who are in it? I would have to drop. But do I want to? I already have bought the text book. and I love the course. But if I only take four courses, I could spend more time focusing on things I like. And never be concerned about a dead line, and for the next year, be more relaxed when only taking four courses. And be able to stay on campus for an extra semester (something I am not sure about). Both options are not not pleasing to God.
I hate worry.

P.S. This post was written several weeks ago, but then I never posted it. I am no longer worried. I decided to drop the course. My God provided me with peace that transcended all understanding.