BGR Weekly Meeting

Tonight was our bgr talk. As it was not done by me, it therefore did not meet my expectations, as the speaker (a local young adults pastor) held different values than I. I think I was overly critical, which will soon be demonstrated.

i. He did not love I Kissed Dating Goodbye (Josh Harris). I think that book is an extreme asset, if only to make sure one has the correct perspective when they begin dating.

ii. He thought there was nothing wrong with the idea that dating should go on as long as possible (he dated his wife for five years). Although I do not think that people should feel the need to have get hitched within a year (a current topic floating around CU c4c), I personally do not see the purpose in stringing out a relationship for an unnecessarily long time (something necessary being potentially defined as med school or any other intensive period of time where the relationship would be neglected - I believe Mark Driscoll stated this as a valid reason for marriage to wait in scenarios where the individuals concluded that was where a relationship was leading to).

iii. He did not tell people that they first need to have their identity wrapped in Christ, to have their values and purpose shaped by Him, and to be giving themselves as living sacrifices (Romans 12:1-2, 1 Peter 2:5). To me this also means seriously considering intentionally not dating for a period of time to serve Christ- I recognize this is my own opinion (not in Bible), and many (particularly girls) would view it as firstly unreasonable, secondly unnecessary. However, one of the reasons I desired this talk to be done was to confirm that our people are placing their Lord and Saviour in his proper place, as the most important relationship to seek after and find their joy and value in.

iv. The talk seemed to focus on dating purity aspect of relationships. This isn’t something I found bad (it was something I assumed others knew), but it wasn’t what I think was necessary, as few people are in a dating relationships. Another note: this might be odd that it was discussed in a mixed gender audience. I wasn’t unhappy with it. It just was different.

v. For some reason I left believing that having relationships was encouraged…not neutral. No doubt I read that in. I am biased.


Things I liked and was pleased to learn:

i. The concept that couples shouldn’t read the Bible together, as it makes them more as spiritual partners (which should be reserved for marriage), and when a couple is more spiritually together, they are more likely to cross serious physical boundaries. I had never heard this before, and yet it makes a lot of sense to me. Maybe it was enough insight that I won’t verbally bash his discussion.

ii. He used “Your teeth are like Gazelles” (Song of Solomon 2:9) as a pick up line. I think it was the most amusing use of scripture I had ever heard. I will now be more careful in my compliments towards those who use Crest White Stripes.

iii. About our WM in general, Lead Me To The Cross was introduced. I love it.

iv. A good base was given about what WC is, which I hadn’t noticed was lacking. Heart Staff.

v. Justin (our MC) was really funny.

vi. My computer was fixed during the course of the meeting. So, potentially best WM ever!


Anyways, I believe this post showed how completely judgemental and self righteous? I am of other Christians, whose opinions are not the exact same as my own. Please comment (even if it to tell me to never discuss bgr related issues in a public forum again).